Sunday, 4 March 2018
EMMA'S NEW BEGINNING by Amatullah Mustafa
I was gazing around the street, as I usually did. And found that there were heaps of people around the street . It was very noisy; the honks of the trucks and cars irked me a lot. I decided to go home.
Meanwhile, my way back home I saw an innocent girl (aged about 10 or 11) crying. I could not help myself, I had to go and ask her about her issue.
I ran over there as fast as I could. At first, I thought that she might have been hit by a car or something, but to my surprise, I saw no bruises or any type of injury (she was looking all fine to me).
I touched her gently so she would not be frightened to see me. I asked her “What’s your name”? She didn’t answer. I asked her several times but she didn’t respond. I clapped my hands to grab her attention. Finally she turned back.
She froze out of shock. “It’s okay! ” I explained then I told her that my name was Lucy and I wanted to help her. Slowly, silently, smartly she answered “Hello my name is Emma”. Then I asked her why was she crying? She whispered that she was scolded by her mom because she had done something really horrible with her brother. I couldn’t believe what I just heard, an innocent girl like her; how could she be mean (she looked very polite and well mannered to me). I asked her if she could tell me what exactly had happened. She agreed.
Eventually, Emma began. I saw my brother was riding my beloved bike, I was fuming with anger. My pressure was increasing as I felt my blood heating up, and my face getting red. My patience exploded. I yelled as loud and clear as I could, What was he doing with my bike? Startled, my brother almost would have froze to death. He assured me that my bike was absolutely perfect. However, when I turned back I saw that my bike was completely broken. I got so grumpy and impatient, that I said mean things to him and ran away. I was walking in the corridor, when I saw mom coming towards me. I took a heavy ball and smashed mom’s favourite vase, I didn’t mean to smash my mom's favourite vase, but it just happened. My mom came to my room and scolded me very badly. I felt so guilty that I nearly cried and ran away. So that’s what had happened. I highlighted “Oh! I see it’s okay, I will help you recover your mistakes”. Now just listen to my plan. “So first we will go and buy a vase and bike for your family. “A BIKE WHO FOR” Emma exclaimed. I told her it was for her brother. She explained that she felt it was a splendid idea. So we went for shopping at a department store. I told Emma to buy the bike for her brother (the theme of angry bird). Secondly, we bought a beautiful vase for Emma’s mother (and made sure we wrapped it nicely). We made a card for Emma’s family (that explained to family members that Emma was feeling sorry).
Finally, we reached Emma’s home and gave her mom and her brother the gift we had bought for them. Mum exclaimed “It’s the most loveliest gift I have ever seen in my whole life, thank you!” It’s the loveliest gift for the loveliest family.
That day, Emma had learnt a lesson “ You are always responsible for how you act, no matter how you feel”. Emma promised that she would be always act responsibly from that day on.
AMATULLAH MUSTAFA 6A
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Nicely written. Keep the good work always
ReplyDeleteExcellent...v.good
ReplyDeleteKeep going like this !!!
Good work amatullah
ReplyDeleteExpressively written and well phrase.inspiringly written.a lesson learned in an encouraging way.kip up the gud work!
ReplyDeleteYour story is well expressed with mixed feelings and emotions for each character.
ReplyDeleteAnyways,I had a suggestion to use less of punctuation like: brackets,etc.You could lessen the use of dialogues and instead use indirect speech.
Good work fatty...and well described emotions and the feelings..all together you made a very good imaginative scene..mashallah..keep it up..and best of luck for upcoming 😘😘✌😄
ReplyDeleteVery well written..!!
ReplyDeleteVery nicely written...
ReplyDelete👍
ReplyDeleteExcellent work. Keep it up. May Allah bless you.
ReplyDeleteExcellent,Keep it up!��
ReplyDeleteVery well versed and phrased the written story shows the depth of interest in Amatullah's writeup
ReplyDeleteKeep up the pace and make your parents more proud
Very nice use of adjectives and it was a great story to spread the message.
ReplyDeleteHowever i recommend using less brackets.
Cool
ReplyDelete